It's been a while...

...but I have been busy revising Michelin Green Guides to France, Britain, Scotland, Andalusia...all good stuff, and done on time in readiness for a departure to the lovely island of Madeira...

...and I tucked in a quick visit to Mull...like you do. That's Ben Cruachan in the picture, looking back from the Craignure ferry.

Things to hate about hotels

1. The sound of someone snoring in an adjacent room; not loudly, but just sufficiently audible to keep you awake.

2. The sound of someone bonking in the next room, when I'm not in the mood to fight back.

3. The sound of baby elephants in the room above; I know they're elephants because they kick their shoes of twice, at different points around the room, and then stomp around heavily.

4. Air conditioning that doesn't.

5. Previous occupants who mischievously set the bedside alarm for 4am.

6. Snail trails on the bed covers, that clearly have not been changed since previously occupied.